Tuesday, April 2

He is not lost

I woke up at 5am not able to sleep another wink.  My heart is heavy and sad.  We found out last night the name of the victims of a crash that took place over Easter weekend.  One of them was a man we knew from church, the dad of Drew's good friend.  The wife of one wonderful woman and father to three really great sons.  I need to tell our boys this morning, and my heart is heavy. 

Nearly every morning, I wake up with a song on my lips and in my heart.  Today, it was this song:

"Even if the healing doesn't come.  And life falls apart, and dreams are still undone.  You are God, you are good, forever faithful one.  Even if the healing doesn't come."

He's God, and he's good even when we don't see the big picture.  We can't possibly comprehend His ways.  Even though this doesn't make any sense to us, we are content to trust God.  Though we are searching for ways to help this family, the Helper has already been there and will remain.  I just can't imagine saying goodbye to your husband or father as he heads off to work, and then have him not come home. 

And honestly, it's probably my number one fear right now.  One of our children dying ranks right up there too.   

I think about it way more than I'd like to admit.  But I'm admitting it now.  I know all the right answers, the ones that say it's okay and that God has got this.  And that He is still good.  I wouldn't waver from that belief, because I know it's true.  I've lived it's true.  But the gravity of not seeing a loved one this side of heaven, especially a treasured husband when you have a household of growing kids, just seems completely unbearable.  And when you are a stay-at-home wife and mom (like our friend is) and you homeschool (like our friend does) and may have to now work outside the home, changing life as they know it in so many different ways has got to be crazy hard.  I know it would hurt just as deep in any circumstance, but wondering if this is the case for our friend just stings. 

It always sits wrongly with me when I hear the words, "we lost him," or "I'm so sorry you lost your husband."  He is not lost if he knows the life-giver.  He is not lost at all.  He is HOME.  Truly home.  No sadness, no pain. 

It's just the pain and sadness here on earth that makes us feel lost. 

With a heavy heart for the sadness of this family, I pray today.  Hard.  For a renewal of their minds and spirits, and that God will give them supernatural grace and peace.  And now I gear up to talk to my boys.  And boast about the hope of the life-giver and peace-maker. 


1 comment on "He is not lost"
  1. Hi Amanda,
    Oh my goodness. I cannot imagine having to break such hard news to your boys. I will be praying for you as you talk to them. Yes, God is the ultimate life giver. As it says in the book of John, "He who believes in me will never die: He who believes in me, even though he dies will have eternal life". Yes, Drew's friend's Dad's physical body has died, but his soul lives on forever.
    In Christ,


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