Monday, January 21

self is after me

Today, I let myself get wrapped up in self. 

I want to keep doing what I'm doing, and not head out of my room and tend to my children at this moment. 

I just want to sit right here and be by myself. 

That is not so easily accomplished when seven babies and kids are beckoning. 

Sometimes I don't make wise choices in regards to my time.  Sometimes I want to sit and not do. 

Self is after me constantly. 

Today I was frustrated that my sweet baby girl had chosen a particular instant to try out her new, and unbelievably piercing scream as she sat in my arms.  I was trying to work with one of my boys on a school project. 

Yes, this little face can throw mini temper tantrums already!  Can you believe it? 

Well, I called her The Grinch.  Not exactly a high point in my day.   

I could have easily put on hold what I was doing with my twelve year old, and tended to her needs.  But I chose self.  It was as if God was using her to tell me that it was a wrong move. 

Echoing through my mind in the middle of tense situations or as I melt into bed at night as of late are these four words, "Stop, and give thanks."

Giving thanks to God for his gifts to me is what brings me back.

here is what's next on my growing list....

165.  healthy babies
166.  Emmalie's easy transition to solid foods in her diet and her own room
167.  a long-awaited dinner with dear friends
168.  our family back to health
169.  a son's desire to study and research on his own time
170.  desire to give
171.  homeschooling resources abound
172.  Skype with loved ones
173.  a whole pan of untouched leftovers to use as dinner tonight
174.  the library
175.  being cherished and dearly loved
176.  new mercies each day - a new start

...  and the list goes on. 


2 comments on "self is after me"
  1. AnonymousJuly 31, 2013

    Ooohhh yes. Self definitely gets after me. Unfortunately, I too, get annoyed when someone asks me for help with something, or to do something for them. In those times I think, "Hello, can't you see I'm doing such and such, or working on this or that?" I definitely need to work on keeping Self away from myself and keeping Self from creeping into my life. Thanks for the reminder.
    In Christ,


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