Lost in thought, a ten-mile stare takes over as she drives.
The kids in the backseat are giggling and joking, ignorant of their mama's flooded mind. She wants out. She doesn't think she can stay married to their dad. It's too hard. And plus, she just doesn't want to anymore.
Ten years earlier, things were easier. But winter has dropped a blanket of snow on her heart. She thinks there's no hope of summer if they stay together.
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Another woman is living out the devastation of her husband's affair. She has a daily appointment with her own ten-mile stare, as she peers over the back of her couch out the window. The kids are on a visit with their dad and his new wife. She rents a movie again. But she can't bear to watch it. Again.
Lamenting and questioning, she asks, "Why me, and not them?" She watches the rain run down the window pane, each drop representing a tear shed in secret. She's sad, crushed, and mad. She knows God has as plan, but could this really be it?
Pain runs deep. Words are slung. Dreams shattered. Hearts are broken. Things are not turning out how you'd hoped.
The ruins of your once-treasured life are scattered so far and so deep. A way out or the thought of piecing it back together seems impossible.
But you must remember God is a master with puzzles. Where the way is unclear, He spreads open the brush for you to walk through. There may be thorns, but there's a way.
“Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering.... The love of God did not protect His own Son.... He will not necessarily protect us - not from anything it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process.”
Maybe you're needing to make a choice. Or perhaps a move. A move that God is nudging you to make. A choice to be forgiven or to forgive. A move that may paint you as a fool. A choice that doesn't seem fair.
But none of that matters if it's the right move. Thorns and all. Because integrity breeds a life that worships God.
Be satisfied with little. Because Christ is your gain. Contentment isn't achievable because of the absence of trials, it is possible because of the very presence of God.
Those ruins in heaps before you may still be there waiting for you.
And it may take a while to clean up. But if you stop to turn around, away from the mess, you'll see the beauty waiting for you on the other side of the valley. The ability to find beauty isn't the result of a change in circumstance, but from a change of heart.
Look right behind you. Because it's there. You just have to turn around.
This. Is. So. Good. I've been struggling a bit lately and I know that even though I may be right, I need to choose forgiveness. It's so hard though! Lord, help!
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