Tuesday, January 28, 2014

When a Phone Call Knocks You Speechless

You know those seasons of life when you're parting the last of the trees at the edge of the forest, and the freedom of a beautiful green clearing has just become visible? That was me three and a half weeks ago. Even as the mama of seven, I was beginning to have room to breathe. I've been stretching my legs and slowly coming back to the woman I've been searching for.

Emmalie is fast approaching two years old, and the three year-olds are making great gains. They're not acting so... well, three. It's a hard year, no? The twos have nothing on the threes.

Then enter a phone call. It's amazing how one "hello" can change so much.

On a Wednesday morning, we received a call that rocked our world and stunned us speechless. We were asked to adopt a child. A 6 year-old child. The sibling of one of our little ones.

This was huge. A decision we did not want to take lightly or make too quickly. And then there's the wow factor in all of this. Wow. Just wow. We were NOT expecting this. At ALL. Not in the furthest reaches of our imaginations.

We questioned, cried, prayed, gathered information, laughed at the wonder of it all, and waited for an answer. We needed to hear a sure word from the Lord. Should we do this? Can we do this? We were excited, yet terrified. But even before a decision, we loved this child. We knew for sure that this child had no family, and that is not okay, no matter who you are. Our hearts were (are) beating on the outside of our chests.

After a week, He spoke, and we had our answer. We should and we can. So we began moving forward to bring this child home. So here we sit weeks later. We've been fingerprinted, have filled out mounds of paperwork, and are now waiting to hear the "when." All we know is that it will be soon.

 
 
 
We're up to our eyeballs in projects to ready the house and ourselves for homecoming day.
 
We're building bunk beds and painting dressers and walls.
We're buying mattresses, clothing, and stuffed animals.
We're sewing blankies and pillows.
 
We're preparing to extend more of ourselves.
We're discussing how we'll parent differently.
We're talking with the kids about the empathy and compassion needed.
 
But mostly we wait and pray.
 
We have an idea, but we don't know exactly how things will change in our family life.
I've had moments of panic. Moments of missing this child so much I can't hold it together. And moments of sheer worship. God is so good. So, so good.
 
Just because it appears as if we're entering another forest, doesn't mean we will.
And just because another forest may be ahead for us, doesn't mean it won't be good.
 
We've received the emails warning us. We know. We aren't walking into this blindly. We know adopting an older child isn't a cake walk. We teach classes on this very thing.
We're as prepared as we can be. And that's okay with us.
 
Our God is so personal. We know He is holding our hands, and will continue. A child is coming home.
 
And do you know what?
Maybe the person I've turned into while living in the forest these years is the person God meant for me to be all along. I don't need to search for the true woman any longer. She's not gone, nor is she hidden among motherhood. She's already here. And I like her.
 
 


This is all the information we'll be providing for now.
You may have questions. We understand. We have our share as well.

Hopefully very soon, our home will be rejoicing and swelling with thankfulness, as we wrap Christ's love around another.



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25 comments:

  1. Jeremy always was an amazing young man. I am so glad that God has given him an amazing woman with whom to walk this road. God bless your family as you follow His leadings. It will be exciting to watch and see where the road continues to wind. Hugs.

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  2. So scary and exciting. I appreciate you writing with such confidence. I have to say I'm a bit weary of reading about how inadequate everyone feels these days. Good to know you have fear and trepidation, but you know where to put your hope! All the best on this new journey.

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    1. I appreciate you saying that, Amy! I hadn't thought of it that way. And thank you.

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  3. God Bless you! I'm praying for you and yours.

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  4. How very exciting and terrifying! :o) I too am an adoptive Mom. We did this with our last group. Sib group of 5 including a toddler. THEN news of a baby coming. Ended up with 3 boys in the end. Very long story made very short lol. The baby is now turning 9. I wish for you the very best.

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    1. So you totally get this!! Intense stuff. And thank you.

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  5. Love you guys!! Please let us know if we can help...or if there is anything you still need. Hope to see you guys soon.

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  6. Reading this post just brought me to tears Amanda!! I can't wait to read more and follow your many adventures. May God continue to bless you, and through you, He blesses me as I read your journeys!!

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    1. It's so nice to hear from you!!! Thank you so much.

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  7. I love following your blog and seeing glimpses into your family life. Thank you for sharing. As a mom of five who feels a little in the forest right now, and loves your adopting heart, I loved this post! So excited for your growing family. Congratulations!

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  8. Praying for you and your whole family during this new adoption journey with this sweet child. I am so happy for you. I understand what you mean by being excited and terrified at the same time. I have gone through these same feelings, but on a much smaller scale. Keep shinning as Jesus' light to all!
    In Christ,
    Bethany

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    1. Thank you, Bethany! You are an encouragement!

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  9. I like her, too. Love her, actually. :)

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  10. Ah Amanda...more and more I am realizing as a sibling of a huge family that my parents made such sacrifices for us. I see that "big family mom" quality in you. I am sure there will be adjustments but that's normal in any family. I am just now realizing what a treasure I have in so many different and changing sibling relationships. --Adriel

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    1. Thank you, Adriel. And I've thought of those grown-up sibling relationships many times... It's a strange thought that they may or may not always be as close as they are.

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  11. Three things: As a "true woman" and a mama, you're right where you're supposed to be. That writing desk isn't going anywhere. I'm honored to followed along on this incredible journey. : )

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    1. Thank you. Always an encouragement. :)

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  12. "Wow. Just Wow.". You said it perfectly. Praising Him with you...and so glad I get to follow along on your family's journey!

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    1. Thanks so much! It's quite the ride.

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  13. Hi Amanda,
    WOW!!! I can see how that phone call would knock you speechless. I know I would have the same reaction as well. I have had a couple phone calls that knocked me speechless, but they were nothing near to the call you got. God is using you and your whole family to bring more "Little Ones" to His Kingdom. You are doing a wonderful work with the Lord's help. I'm looking forward to hearing more details as you are able to share.
    In Christ,
    Bethany

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