Thursday, April 21, 2016

So You're Mad at Your Real Life


Let's just say Monday was not my favorite day ever.

It got so bad, that we packed a quick lunch and bolted out the door to who knows where, skipping naps and everything. I could not stay home amidst the frustrating attitudes and actions displayed by a couple of the kids. I was also upset at myself for not handling it better. 

We did absolutely nothing except drive around, take in some scenery we've seen a thousand times, and stop at church to go to the bathroom and play on the lawn. Free therapy, I tell you. It was just enough time for me to truly think about why I was so disillusioned with it all, and to talk to God about it.

What exactly was my problem? Yeah, 8 kids is a lot. Yeah, some of the kids have "unique" needs with repetitive issues that test me to the core. But where was my long-suffering, love, joy, and patience (among other things)?

I pinned down the truth of it. I was mad. Mad that this is my life. Mad that tension headaches are a daily occurrence. Mad that what God called us to as a family is so darn hard. 

Have you ever been downright mad that your current circumstances are your actual real life? Like not just for a week or two, but your honest-to-goodness, somebody-please-send-a-nanny-or-three season of life? Perhaps years of life? 

Mad. 

But at the very same time, the very same people who are contributing to our "mad at my real life" state of mind also make us gloriously thankful. It's this interesting mix. At times I want to run far, far away, but I never do because I love them so, so much. Plus, they're watching me. I want them to see how a struggling believer hangs in there for the long-haul.

When giving thanks in all circumstances is the bar set in Scripture, one can get to feeling pretty guilty about being mad at anything placed in our life by the Lord. Especially our kids. 

At the end of the day, a drive-thru vanilla latte helped, as did blasting the Tony Bennett station during and after dinner. Watching the young ones sway to the crooners helped too. But what really helped is my husband. 

We help each other see. 

That night he helped me see that it's normal to be mad at your right now life at times. 

Even Jesus asked the Father if there was any other way their goal of saving humanity could be accomplished. Does it have to be this? This cross? This pain?



In most cases, the Father says, "Yes. It does." Just like he did with Jesus. 

Our right now life might be the way through this season or this frustration. Much to our chagrin, we have to go through to get to the other side. 

And we can't forget that a whole lotta character is produced through these trials. (Romans 5:3-4) That's the good part we're after.

So is there any other way, God?
Maybe. But the answer might be that we need to keep going.


11 comments:

  1. I had a full term still birth 1-1-15, 1-15-16 I delivered twins. I have a 6 and 4 yr old as well. I always pitied moms with twins. Now I have my own. I love what you have written. I haven't really need very happy with my life since they were born. Most days, I feel like I'm just suffering through, waiting for when they get older and easier. Thanks for the permission to be mad about my current life and the advice to persevere. ❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Hannah, thank you for sharing your story. I've found that God is using what I most fear or dread to mold my character into what He had in mind all along. It's a painful process! A double high-five for you today, mama!

      Delete
  2. Well said Sissy. It is in the thick of mad that get to exercise our choosing to see the larger story. Still hard but Im proud of your perseverance and not running for the hills most days :). Love you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish we could run for the hills together!!! xo Miss and love you.

      Delete
  3. So relatable. Thank you for your honesty and encouragement!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Holly! And you're welcome. :)

      Delete
  4. Well, you know I'm all about the real life stuff. This is so good, reminding all of us that even the best things in life {Kids! Family! Home!} can be the source of so much frustration and pain. Love to you, friend!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you, Amanda! Such a beautiful post and such good truth. Thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're so welcome, Kylie! Thank you for reading and commenting! :)

      Delete
  6. Hi Amanda,

    I'm afraid that there are times that I'm mad at my life and circumstances myself, and I'm not even close to having kids let alone close to being engaged or married yet. However, unfortunately, there are times this single girl hates her life, or some aspects of it. I know I have no right to hate my life. I know I have it made with being single, no husband or kids to take care of or worry about, no house and car payments either. Since I'm not married, I have been involved with lots of different ministries over the past 15 years. Most of what I do is ministry and service related. I love my ministry work, and I wouldn't trade it for anything! However, there are times when I see other people traveling to beautiful places or things like that, then I grow unhappy with my life. I have a former friend who travels once a month and her sister is getting married next month. I'm not necessarily eager to be married, but sometimes I feel left out as a single person. I don't always get to get away or travel much because 1. ministry stuff that I do. b. with being involved with several ministries, I have to sort of play catch up the rest of the year. My ministries are mostly during the school year, so I do have the summer off, but there are a couple things that I still do during the summer break. I have been really struggling with being unhappy and seeing my life as more of a grind than a pleasure. I know I have no right to be mad at my life. You have way more of a right to that than I do because you have 8 kids, a few of them with unique issues from their pasts. I admire you for always doing the right thing. I'm glad that you and the kids were able to just get out of the house the other day for awhile. Mondays are definitely not my favorite day of the week either. Some Mondays are worse than others. As I said, I wouldn't trade my life for anything. I would miss my ministries and the kids whom I work with if I didn't have them.
    Thank you so much for putting things in perspective for me! You always inspire me!
    God Bless!
    Bethany

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for commenting, I love hearing from you!

Blog Design by Caked Designs